post by tensor
Fresh from his failed attempt to tell us about heat and entropy, Jonathan Gardner tells us not to worry about resource depletion. Will this effort succeed any better? Sadly…
Thanks to the power of free markets, we are all but guaranteed an inexhaustible supply of resources.
How do “free markets” guarantee resources? Read on:
The way it works is this. If there is a shortage of a useful commodity, then the price will rise according to the shortage. As the price rises, people stockpile and protect the supply in hopes of future profits.
Yes, price gouging is a problem in unfettered markets. But how does any market guarantee anyt–
This alone will ensure that we’ll always have the commodity available in one form or another to those who truly need it.
“Look, Gramps, the price is $100 per pill for your heart medication. I’ve got a pharmacy to run here. Go cry me a river.”
Eventually, innovation will come to bear on the problem, and we’ll find ways to either more efficiently use the limited resource or find something else that solves the same problem.
Another pharmaceutical company will market similar medication for only $99/pill, thus allowing Grandpa to move up to a better brand of cat food — once per week, anyway. Feel that free-markety magick a-workin’! But Jonathan’s just getting warmed up (not from greenhouse gasses, of course):
Let’s suppose that we really are running out of oil. Forget, for a moment, whether or not the earth is creating oil…
Phase One: Recall that the mass of earth is finite, so if we consume anything in it at a finite rate, we will eventually depl–
Phase Two: CRIMESTOP!!
Phase Three: (Market-Ensured) Profit!!
One thing that will happen immediately is the real price of oil will increase.
If we may run out of oil someday, why would the price increase “immediately”? Because FREE MARKETS THAT’S WHY!
This will cause people all over the world to use less of it.
Or, possibly, to pay more for the same amount, passing that cost along as best they can. In that case, there is no conservation of oil, just liquidity drained from the global economy. But this is not a problem because FREE MARKETS THAT’S WHY, LIBS!
If some government wants to subsidize the oil in their country, that is fine, the country will simply have to find a place to fig up the cash to do so—likely from the same people who buy the oil.
Or, some government could accuse a tin-pot, formerly-friendly dictator (who just so happens to be sitting atop huge proven reserves of oil) of having unstoppable robot drones and secret weapons of mass destruction, and use those ludicrously-false accusations as a flimsy excuse to invade and secure the oil, paying for this naked theft with the money and blood of the citizens of both countries. Why, this wondrous free market stuff just keeps getting better and better! How could it possibly get any more awes–
The commodities market will react by stockpiling reserves.
Thus reducing the flow of a vital resource, at the very moment it is most needed! TOTES AWESOME!! WE LOVES YOU FREE MARKET!!!
If we know for certain that oil is going to run out, then whoever has oil when it runs out will be a very, very rich man.
This is why we must drill, drill, drill baby drill, right now, off-shore, and in the ANWR, and pump that oil out now, so we won’t have any when the rest of the world runs out!! Otherwise, when we have oil and no one else does, we would all be very rich accused falsely of having robot drones and secret weapons of mass destruction…
But, again, back to how free markets assure us of having none all of the resources we could ever want:
This will further deplete the amount of oil available for consumption today, but will make oil available in the future. This will further drive the price up.
Because higher prices for oil = better economy. And a pony.
With the price of oil shooting through the roof, people who rely on oil will begin investing their time and resources into finding real alternatives.
Assuming they have any resources left after paying the (now, hugely increased) cost of oil.
Whoever discovers a way to replace oil will make a handsome profit from it. And with the innovation, we won’t need oil anymore.
Thus crushing the commodity marketers, who had so heroically assured our supply of oil in those days of scarce resources. Screw you, WITH THE POWER OF THE FREE MARKET!
Unfortunately for alarmists, the earth has enough and to spare.
There exists a hard-and-fast, scientifically-verified reason for thi–
This is because it is a creation of a loving God and not a random event.
“And the LORD spoke unto Moses, saying, thou shalt keep holy the sabbath free markets…”
All the resources of the earth are there for us to use wisely for our benefit.
Or, we could ignore coming shortages, letting the prices and availability carom wildly, disrupting our ability to cope in a time of crisis. But that’s what Almighty God Free Markets so decreed! SUCK ON THAT, ATHEIST LIBS!!1!
And there is plenty for everyone, as long as we are willing to live according to the laws of Nature and not of man.
Jonathan goes to the zoo to see the gorillas speculate on derivatives whilst they secure funds for their arbitrage from secret, offshore bank accounts.
There is enough land, water, food, and minerals for everything we need.
Phase One — oh, just forget it. (”Fig up”??!?)